Backtracking a little bit, Bryan and I had an incredible last minute trip to Zion, Grand Canyon, and Phoenix right before he left-- the perfect way to end one phase of our life before opening up the next pivotal chapter. The swearing-into-the-USMC ceremony was over quickly, but was as powerful as I expected. Bryan's right hand was raised the highest (both out of pride and sheer height) and has never looked so focused and excited since I saw him across the alter.
Catching up to speed, living alone is really bizarre. I didn't realize until I came home last Monday that I'd never experienced it before-- always with family, roommates, or Bryan. Now it's just me, June, and the .45 that sleeps on the pillow next to me! I've been occupying my time with a lot of Pilates and Desperate Housewives, which I really loved for the first 2 days.. until it dawned on me that I missed Bryan walking in and changing my show to ESPN. It's an amazing and stupid thing to marry your best friend because when they have to go away, you lose both.
I think about Bry all of the time, constantly wondering what kind of hell he's receiving at that exact moment. I know he's having the time of his life.. that man is ALL boy and loves all that is dirty, loud, and demanding. And I can't wait until I FINALLY have a mailing address for him so I can start writing him and hearing about what's going on over there. That's another weird aspect about his absence-- I don't get to tell him about my day or new things going on as soon as they happen! I found out this week my parents are moving, and I can't even tell my husband! It's weird.
A new feeling I got today was the realization that I would rather him be here and in the world's biggest fight with me than away. Anger's an easier emotion than loneliness, I think. But, in the meantime, I'm just taking it one day at a time! I'm excited to see him for a million reasons- but mostly because I can already tell how much stronger our marriage and friendship is going to be at the end of this. And, the end of this will have us moving to Pensacola for Bryan's job training. How can everything NOT be better on the beach??
|81 days to go!|